Say Anything

"I have this theory of convergence, that good things always happen with bad things. I know you have to deal with them at the same time, but I just don't know why they have to happen at the same time. I just wish I could work out some schedule. Am I just babbling? Do you know what I mean?"

Say Anything

I should have known that I was going to love this movie.

In the same vein as one of my favorites Valley Girl, Say Anything is a classic 80's high school romance chock full of feel-good movements, big hair and parent relationships. While Valley Girl highlights the weird 80's Los Angeles valley culture and features a prom and Nicholas Cage as the bad boy heartthrob (yuck), Say Anything takes place in Seattle, Washington, and is generally less goofy. A young, endearing John Cusack is forever immortalized in the boombox scene that, for me, was somewhat anti-climactic.

I particularly loved Diane's way of speaking. I think the actress was British, but her American accent came off in a way that made her sound like she thought carefully about the words she chose. I sometimes wish that I sounded that way, but I talk too much and will always sound Midwestern.

I also loved seeing her relationship with her dad change throughout the film; I really identify with portrayals of parent relationships because I'm an only child and I'm so close with my parents, and our relationships have really changed and developed throughout my life, and I understand her struggle of trusting her dad even though he's not infallible.

Of course, the love story between Diane and Lloyd is the best part of the movie. Although there was the hokey part in which Diane was a total smartypants with a fellowship to college in England, and Lloyd had no future plans and was seemingly a loser but was a really good guy at heart. I'm just glad that he was portrayed as a good person with a lot of respect for her and understanding of her relationship with her dad. Diane seemed to have a lot of control over her relationships and I see her as a strong female character even though it was a classic case of boy-meets-girl.

Lastly, the ending was SO GOOD. I LOVED IT.

Poetry Sunday: Ode

In my favorite movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Willy Wonka says one of my favorite phrases ever (The first two lines of the poem), and he got it from this poem, Ode by Arthur O' Shaugnessy. Enjoy!

WE are the music-makers,  

  And we are the dreamers of dreams,  

Wandering by lone sea-breakers,  

  And sitting by desolate streams;  

World-losers and world-forsakers,          

  On whom the pale moon gleams:  

Yet we are the movers and shakers  

  Of the world for ever, it seems.  

  

With wonderful deathless ditties  

We build up the world's great cities,   

  And out of a fabulous story  

  We fashion an empire's glory:  

One man with a dream, at pleasure,  

  Shall go forth and conquer a crown;  

And three with a new song's measure   

  Can trample an empire down.  

  

We, in the ages lying  

  In the buried past of the earth,  

Built Nineveh with our sighing,  

  And Babel itself with our mirth;   

And o'erthrew them with prophesying  

  To the old of the new world's worth;  

For each age is a dream that is dying,  

  Or one that is coming to birth.

Five Small Thoughts Post-Finals

• I drank a lot of water today and ate far too many strawberries over the last few days
• Practicando el castellano con mi nueva amiga ecuatoriano fue muy divertido... Estoy tan emocionada para hablarlo cuando viajamos allá!
• I miss my parents and my cat, but I'm trying not to think about it much.
• There just aren't enough occasions in this life where it is totally appropriate to wear berry-colored lipstick. It's just so pretty.
• Are linen pants in style? I asked my friends but I still can't fully be sure.

You Give Me Something - James Morrison

My paper-writing soundtrack:

Earth Day at the Northstar Cafe

Northstar Cafe is a staple for young hip people in Columbus with some extra money to spare. Its expensive, local, organic brunch and lunch treats are absolutely delicious and very healthy-trendy. On its website, Northstar is described as having "an imaginative menu of New American cuisine with a healthful emphasis on organic ingredients." In any case, the cool, hip person in me occasionally enjoys a lunch date with my friends at the pleasant, if pretentious, cafe, so when my friends told me that there were FREE VEGGIE BURGERS for Earth Day yesterday, I was all in. 

The best thing I've ever ordered from the menu at Northstar at going a total of 4 times is their ginger ale. Ginger Ale is already my favorite soda, but this ginger ale is made fresh at the cafe. (Side note: I've been having an internal struggle of staying true to my Ohio roots and saying pop instead of soda versus using the more universal word "soda." I feel like I'm betraying my natural linguistic tendencies, but then I also feel hokey saying it since there are so few people who use it here at the university, even though it's in Ohio. A silly thought.) The ginger ale has a lime and mint leaves floating in it, and it's particularly spicy. It's a dream. 

This is my friend Amber. She's great, she was trying to catch the straw in time for the picture. Also, she ordered the Shooting Star, which is orange, carrot, lemon and ginger juice. I tasted it; it was weird. 

The free burger usually costs 14 dollars. FOURTEEN DOLLARS. That is so many dollars for a lunch item. I wouldn't normally order the burger, because I've sort of been off veggie burgers since my three-year stint as a vegetarian in high school. However, they were free on Earth Day, so I got one!

On the menu, it's described as "Just made with organic brown rice, black beans and beets, topped with white cheddar, kale, tomato, pickle & onion + simple salad." The burger itself was a lovely reddish color from the beets (you know how I feel about beets), and the salad was really nice, with a light dressing, croutons and some sort of bitter greens.

All in all, I'd say it was a successful Earth Day! I got to enjoy a fantastic lunch with some great friends. I'm really enjoying getting to spend time with them as the weather gets nicer before I become a jetsetter this summer.

P.S. Look how pretty Mrinali is, also my little point-and-shoot camera did this. I'm only sort of impressed with myself.

Poetry Sunday: Tu risa

Reading Pablo Neruda's poetry makes my heart go to Chile. Chile was really the first opportunity I had to travel on my own, and to explore a culture that was very different from anything I had experienced before. Chile and the Pacific Ocean were incredibly important to Pablo Neruda, and Neruda is inexplicably important to Chile's spirit. This poem is one of my favorites of his, and I did an analysis of it for my Latin American literature class I took at La Pontificia Universidad Católica de Valparaíso.

Tu risa: Pablo Neruda

Quítame el pan si quieres,

quítame el aire, pero

no me quites tu risa.

 

No me quites la rosa,

la lanza que desgranas,

el agua que de pronto

estalla en tu alegría,

la repentina ola

de planta que te nace.

 

Mi lucha es dura y vuelvo

con los ojos cansados

a veces de haber visto

la tierra que no cambia,

pero al entrar tu risa

sube al cielo buscándome

y abre para mí

todas las puertas de la vida.

 

Amor mío, en la hora

más oscura desgrana

tu risa, y si de pronto

ves que mi sangre mancha

las piedras de la calle,

ríe, porque tu risa

será para mis manos

como una espada fresca.

 

Junto al mar en otoño,

tu risa debe alzar

su cascada de espuma,

y en primavera, amor,

quiero tu risa como

la flor que yo esperaba,

la flor azul, la rosa

de mi patria sonora.

 

Ríete de la noche,

del día, de la luna,

ríete de las calles

torcidas de la isla,

ríete de este torpe

muchacho que te quiere,

pero cuando yo abro

los ojos y los cierro,

cuando mis pasos van,

cuando vuelven mis pasos,

niégame el pan, el aire,

la luz, la primavera,

pero tu risa nunca

porque me moriría.

Everyday Life

My asked me to take more photos of my everyday life. I just have a little white point-and-shoot camera.
This is what I've come up with so far.

My pretty friend Gia is really funny and has lovely personal style. A native Columbus resident and a really cool taste in music, clothes and art, I always feel super hip but also really goofy when I spend time with her. We were enjoying a beautiful day at a cookout.



Oxley Hall holds the Office of International Affairs, a really meaningful place for me. This tree is really pleasantly placed, and I took this photo on a really stress-relieving walk with my friend Erin.



My university is so beautiful in the rare occasion that there is nice weather.



Zen Cha is one of my favorite places in Columbus. My friend Mrinali and I enjoyed a friend date and treated ourselves to the frivolous luxury of tea and tea snacks.


Scones, samosas, and the most delicious cardamom ginger tea. The spicy sweet flavor of the tea summons ideas of my hair blowing in the desert winds of Morocco. There's definitely like some pretty pottery and carpet.


We got milk tea for the walk home.



Everyday life is sometimes more beautiful than special occasions.

On Forgetting Names

"I don't think it should be socially acceptable for people to say they are 'bad with names.' No one is bad with names. That is not a real thing. Not knowing people's mes isn't a  neurological condition; it's a choice. You choose not to make learning people's names a priority. It's like saying, 'Hey, a disclaimer about me: I'm rude.' For heaven's sake, if you don't know someone's name, just pretend you do. Do that thing everyone else does, where you vaguely say, 'Nice to see you!' and make weak eye contact."

- Mindy Kaling

I'd like to think I'm rather good with names, actually.

Poetry Sunday: [i carry your heart with me (i carry it in]

e.e. cummings is really difficult for me to understand, but I try to read it anyway 

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

BY E. E. CUMMINGS

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Hasta la Piel by Carla Morrison

A sappy Spanish tune for a Sunday afternoon

I don't really want to do Spanish homework, but I will listen to Spanish language music. Maybe that will help me improve?

"No te quiero perder 
que la distancia se devore nuestra miel 
y perdamos la fe."

"I don't want to lose you. The distance will consume our sweetness, and we'll lose our faith"

Thoughts for today:

• I'm going to Ecuador in a few weeks and I can't wait. I love South America.
• I have something big that I have to do soon. It will make me feel really sad, but it will be better in the long run.
• I don't know which Fulbright program to apply for, or even how or why or what
• I am sitting in the dark in my room and it is 1 PM
• I feel like I have so many things do to, so I don't want to do any of them.
• I really love my friends.

Top Five

Color Me Rad
I ran a 5k! I ran a 5k! I cut a lot of corners and ran it really slowly, but I did it! It was a really fun experience, especially because of t he colored powder floating around everywhere. A lot of people walked the course, which I found really encouraging. I have always felt that there is a strongly judgmental aspect to a lot of sports purely because of its inherent competitive nature, so it was nice to feel like nobody else really cared what I was doing. I felt really accomplished at the finish line, and it is definitely something I'd like to do again.


Phi Sigma Pi
I don't know if I've ever written about my fraternity on this blog, but it seriously means a lot to me. Although I absolutely HATE meetings and silly things like elections and bylaws and discussions, I know my college experience would be completely different and very empty without my brothers. My college memories are composed mostly of sleepy nights of movies or board games in one of their apartments, drinking coffee at Kafe Kerouac, talking about everything, gossiping, discussing arts & culture, and thinking about the future.  Of course, I'm not super close with everyone in the chapter, but I've made a lot of my closest friends in PSP. Last night was our Spring banquet, and I had to say goodbye to a couple of people that are very close to my heart and it was both beautiful and sad. Long live our group message, weathered socks.

My PSP family!

Milk Tea
Ever since Texas, I have wanted black milk tea with pudding. It's sweet, it's delicious, and I would like to drink one. I can get one at Zen Cha here in Columbus, just with no pudding.


Natural Skincare
I've set aside my harsh medicine prescribed by my dermatologist because it was making my skin go insane. I am trying out the natural route for skincare, by using the oil cleansing method with jojoba oil, and then doing a honey cinnamon mask at night. The honey cinnamon mask smells delicious. So far, my skin feels a lot nicer, but it will take a while to see the long-term effects of the treatments.

Mornings
Now that the sun is out, I have absolutely loved waking up early and starting my day earlier. It feels a lot more possible to get to places by 8 AM with lipstick on and a hot tea in my hand.

Poetry Sunday: The Loser

It's a lovely Sunday evening and I'm sitting in the house I grew up in with my cat and my parents. This is where I am the most comfortable and the happiest. This last week was pretty stressful for me, because I was completing a lot of interviews, coordinating a big event, preparing for my upcoming trips and staying on top of schoolwork. When I'm really busy and stressed, I feel like I'm lost, or like I'm losing my head. Being home really relaxes me and reminds me of what is important.

Enjoy this poem by Shel Silverstein called The Loser

Mama said I'd lose my head
if it wasn't fastened on.
Today I guess it wasn't
'cause while playing with my cousin
it fell off and rolled away
and now it's gone.

And I can't look for it
'cause my eyes are in it,
and I can't call to it
'cause my mouth is on it
(couldn't hear me anyway
'cause my ears are on it),
can't even think about it
'cause my brain is in it.
So I guess I'll sit down
on this rock
and rest for just a minute...

Poetry Sunday: Phenomenal Women

One of my friends was presenting a short film at a Women's History event on International Women's Day. Another person I sort of know, a grad student who is in my small group in my Leadership in Community Service class, performed this poem and it was lovely. She is really beautiful, and this poem is pretty empowering to strong women.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me. 

Magic - Coldplay

I have a couple of friends who hate Coldplay because they think that everybody makes too big of a deal out of them. They think that Coldplay lyrics aren't particularly beautiful or meaningful, like they're a cop-out or something.

I personally rather enjoy Coldplay. I don't need music to touch my soul every time I listen, I just want it to make me feel something. In this case, Coldplay's Magic makes me happy.

Mid-Morning Thoughts

• I wish I had breakfast foods in my room.
• I actually do have some food in my room, I'm just going to have to be resourceful.
• I love that my curtains block out the sun so fervently.
• I have been sleeping until 9 or 9:30 and I hate it. I am excited for the day I can live in an apartment and have a kitchen and wake up at seven and make tea and eggs on toast, then go for a run around the neighborhood, or to the nearby hot yoga studio. I ride my bike there, a really cool bike that's like a gorgeous kelly green color.
• Okay, let me tell you about what I would consider to be an ideal weekend day in a happy life for me: After my hot yoga class, I come home to my small but bright-with-natural-light apartment. I feed my adorable cat, and then I go to a farmer's market, because hopefully they have that peanut butter goat's milk fudge that they always have at farmer's markets near Minerva. If not, I'll settle with some basil and cherry tomatoes and avocados and homemade salsa and beets and bell peppers. Then I get lunch with my friend, hopefully Erin or Gabrielle or Leanna or Jonathan (even though they probably don't live where I live, but wouldn't that be nice?), or I guess I could have lunch with a new friend. We get tacos. Then, we go see that new movie that will be coming out with all of my favorite actors, a happy romantic comedy starring John Krasinski and like Mindy Kaling, Justin Timberlake, Andy Samberg, the cop from Bridesmaids and Tina Fey. After that, I go back to my bright apartment and go swimming, because we have a pool in our apartment complex, and I make small talk with the nice new neighbors, but not too much small talk because that's the worst. Finally, it's like seven p.m. so I go back to my apartment and my really nice roommate and I have a light dinner of salad (spring mix, beets, corn, chickpeas, onions, feta, cilantro vinaigrette like I get at school). We have a  show that's on at 8, so we make some tea and do our nails and what the show, that's probably a dating show, a talent show, or something really funny like the Office (even though nothing can really compare). I end the night by calling my mom, then reading a new Jhumpa Lahiri book and going to sleep.
• I'm probably going to go make ramen in a second.
• Beer has SO MANY calories in it, and it tastes awful. What is the point?
• Alcohol in general: What is the point? I think I quit.
• I wish I liked the Higher Ed program at UT Austin better, because that would be really fun.
• The school I think I'll apply to so far are UT Austin, University of Michigan (booo), Ohio State (True love), Vanderbilt and UPenn. That seems like plenty for me. Do I have to keep researching? :(
• I played Battleship last night and it was a BLAST. Teams of four sit in canoes and try to capsize the other teams.
• I wish my room weren't a mess.
• Is it going to be warm ever again?

"Original Kindle"

Poetry Sunday: She Walks in Beauty

One time in high school we did a unit on poetry, and we went outside and did poetry readings like in the movie The Dead Poet's Society. We each could share a poem we wrote, or read a poem from a poetry book. I chose this little love poem by Lord Byron, not remembering that it is featured in The Dead Poet Society when they are in that weird tiny cave.

She Walks in Beauty

She walks in beauty, like the night

   Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that’s best of dark and bright

   Meet in her aspect and her eyes;

Thus mellowed to that tender light

   Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,

   Had half impaired the nameless grace

Which waves in every raven tress,

   Or softly lightens o’er her face;

Where thoughts serenely sweet express,

   How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,

   So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

   But tell of days in goodness spent,

A mind at peace with all below,

   A heart whose love is innocent!

Top Five

Rock Climbing
I went rock climbing for the first time today! It was really challenging, but also really thrilling. Although I couldn't reach the top of two of the three walls I climbed, I am still am feeling challenged by them and I want to return as soon as I can find time in order to improve. The feeling of defeating a strange synthetic mountain with shapely, brightly-colored plastic "rocks" jutting out from a flat surface is oddly empowering. The Adventure Recreation Center also had a slackline, which I felt really challenged by as well. I'm glad that I got a taste of this now because I hope I can enjoy doing it more often in the future.



Beets
I have been eating beets so often lately. Something about that gorgeous natural red juice, the tender texture and the slightly sweet yet neutral flavor have been making be get salads solely as a vehicle for beets. Am I Dwight Schrute?


Networking
Although meeting with people is really uncomfortable sometimes, just requesting to meet with someone who could potentially have any information to connect you to resources for your future makes a world of difference. I've found that even if they don't have particularly specific information to give you, having had that one-on-one conversation will make  most people want you to succeed, and will give their hand in doing that. I have met with several people this week to talk about graduate school programs and their advice really inspired me. Networking truly is important.

Like Crazy
I watched a movie on Netflix the other day called Like Crazy. I wasn't exactly "crazy" about it (Oh, Marisa, you're so funny), but it was a really realistic portrayal of how hard long distance relationships are, and how much struggle, disappointment one's heart goes through. It was a beautiful movie, but I wasn't quite satisfied with the choice of main actor (Anton Yelchin), who stole my heart as Charlie Bartlett and doesn't seem like quite interested enough in the relationship to fit the character of Jacob. In fact, I just had to Google his character name, that is how disinterested I was in the character. I found myself identifying much more strongly with the female lead Anna, played by British actress Felicity Jones. Overall, a good movie to speculate about, even if it didn't ruin me emotionally like The Notebook or Hunchback of Notre Dame or something.


Herbal Essences Shampoo 
I just ran out of the shampoo that my dad bought me for Christmas, Paul Mitchell Shampoo One, which smells like a dream. I replaced it with Herbal Essences Moroccan My Shine. I'm rather embarrassed by the pun, but it smells nice and it's blue. I don't know what this obsession with Moroccan argan oil is, but I thought I'd give it a cheap try, as I imagine that Herbal Essences probably adds something like 3 drops per bottle.

One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories by B.J. Novak

As I've mentioned before, I'm a massive fan of The Office. I started watching it in December and somehow laughed and cried through 9 years of television in two months. Oddly enough, one of my favorite characters in the show is Ryan, the slightly delusional, self-centered jerk who thinks he has everything to prove and spends the entire nine years torturing the heart of his dramatic co-worker Kelly Kapoor. When I did a little more research on the actors behind the show, I found that the actor who played Ryan, B.J. Novak, actually spent most of his time in the writer's room rather than on set in The Office, and actually considers himself a writer, not an actor.



I also found that he recently released a book, One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories. During my swift obsession with The Office, I swung by my local bookstore and bought a copy. Luckily, I love short stories, and his absurd sense of humor is right up my alley. I found myself laughing aloud through some of the stories. Some of my favorites were the shortest pieces in the book, lasting only a sentence or two. Although the stories were mostly unrelated, there were several tiny details that connected the stories in a really funny way. They weren't purely for comedy, either. I found some of the stories to have a touching and sad undertone, even if only to end with some ironic punchline, like Kellogg's (or: The Last Wholesome Fantasy of the Middle School Boy), where a boy finds out that he wins a cereal sweepstakes and his parents don't let him cash the prize because his real father is the CEO of Kellogg's.



My top 5 picks from the book were, in order of how they appear in the book:
No One Goes to Heaven to See Dan Fogelberg
Missed Connection: Grocery Spill at 21st and 6th 2:30 pm on Wednesday
Kindness Among Cakes
MONSTER: The Roller Coaster
The World's Biggest Rip-Off




I would recommend the book to fans of short fiction, comedy and the Ryan/Kelly romance.

Poetry Sunday: If I Should Have a Daughter

This is an amazing spoken word poem by Sarah Kay, a brilliant woman who creates poetry as performance in a way that I relate to very closely. This discovery is one of the best that I have found in my many years of dedicated youtube-browsing.

When your boots will fill with rain, and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment, and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say, “Thank you.” Because there’s nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shore line, no matter how many times it’s sent away.

Everything's Bigger in Texas

Houston Texas, Baby
As a self-proclaimed Beyonce connoisseur, I was excited to see exactly what her hometown is like.
Houston is a massive city with a very strange plan. I have never seen anything like it. Apparently, there is no zoning in the city of Houston, which implies that anyone can put up a store or school or house in any place they want, and it shows. The first thing I noticed were a lot of strange strip malls with independent store that sold very specific products, like carpets or lamps exclusively. We also went a really strange mini mall with a bunch of fake purses and jewelry.

There's one section of the city seems like a giant knotted ball of yarn, but it's really a bunch of freeways piled on top of each other. I found a picture on Google.


My favorite part about the city was how multicultural it is, and how that translated to food. While I was there for three days, I had awesome fajitas at Ninfa's with fresh and soft flour tortillas, Chinese dumplings and milk tea, and awesome barbecue (which was actually ironically in Columbus, Texas).



Keep Austin Weird
I went into Austin as a skeptic. We were warned by Houstonians about all of the strange things we were set to see in Austin. With its long-standing unofficial slogan "Keep Austin Weird," I wanted to know just how weird it could be. As a girl who grew up hopping around the world and living in carnivals, I needed to know exactly what made this city so "weird."


As we drove into the city, I immediately saw some stereotypes of the city walking around on the streets. Women in carefully composed outfits made to look like a clean 1970's hippies were traipsing along, while fit bearded men in their twenties rode bikes to their jobs at app development firms. It truly is a hipster central, especially in the wake of the yearly South by Southwest festival, which brings people from all over the world with interests technology and live music. I personally really enjoyed all of the promotional bits of SXSW, because we got a lot of free stuff and got to do fun activities. 



The city itself has a very manageable and cool feel, without feeling too big like other metropolises I've visited before. The public train only has two cars, and a man we met (at his hip app development office that I mistook for a small apartment building, of course) said that he took the train in to work from another nearby neighborhood. Overall, I find Austin to be a city that a lot of young people would enjoy spending time in.

High Tide or Low Tide

Bob Marley wrote this song for his kids. If I ever get married, I want it to be my father/daughter song.

More late night thoughts

• I had a really awkward interaction today, and I can't stop thinking about it because it was really embarrassing. Like, I want to go back and apologize to the guy for my horrible ability to interact. 
• I'm flying to Texas in four hours (five hours?), and I can't sleep. I'm not even sort of tired.
• The reason for the time confusion is because of Daylight Savings because I have a really hard time understanding how it works.
• I locked myself out of my room after the front desk closed for the break. It was right after I went to the gym, and I had to sit outside of my room for half an hour  and wait for the maintenance guy to come.
• I went to Target by myself today and felt very alone, and I bought a belt that was more expensive than I expected, but I like it anyway. I also bought cheap shoes, which is a true downfall of mine because shoes are important.
• I am one of five-ish people in my building right now and it is so scary. 
• International Women's Day was a blast. I appreciate the women in my life.
• I utilized something I learned on Pinterest today! I used contacts cases for holding a small amount of gel on an airplane.
• I ate two Kit Kat bars tonight because of the uncomfortable situation.
• I had a lovely dinner with my friend Johnny in the lobby. A chicken gyro and a Buckeye donut. 
• I am really looking forward to the end of the semester, because that means the beginning of a lot of adventure.
• Why am I awake?
• The song "White Houses" always make me feel nostalgic, even though I've never experienced anything like the song. I've read a lot of books that have experiences like the song, though because I read a lot of YA fiction. That was before I realized that being an only child isn't normal.
• Running three miles today felt amazing. Did I have a runner's high? I used to think that was a lie. I know it's not much, but it's something.

Poetry Sunday: Jilted

Sylvia Plath's life story is really sad, and it makes me sad to think about it. I have tried to read The Bell Jar a lot of times, but I can't really get into it, even though I think Sylvia Plath is such an interesting woman. However, I love her poem Jilted.

Jilted

My thoughts are crabbed and sallow,
My tears like vinegar,
Or the bitter blinking yellow
Of an acetic star.

Tonight the caustic wind, love,
Gossips late and soon,
And I wear the wry-faced pucker of
The sour lemon moon.

While like an early summer plum,
Puny, green, and tart,
Droops upon its wizened stem
My lean, unripened heart.

Travels

I have three major travels planned for the near future, and I can't even describe how I feel. My mom says that I'm touring the world like a rock star. I am so lucky to have been in the right place at the right time, to be raised by parents who have worked hard to give me incredible experiences, to love education, to have amazing friends, and to be the kind of girl who reads e-mails. If I could toot my own horn for a second, I did work pretty hard to be able to have the financial freedom and competitiveness to be able to receive scholarships and study abroad three times, BUT the truth is, I am just fortunate to be where I am because of the hard work of everyone around me. Thank you, mom and dad. Thank you universe. I love you.

Trip 1: Texas
This one is Spring Break, the only "just for fun" trip I have planned. I have talked about it before in my Top Five blog, but it is happening in just a few days and I am really excited. I will be providing the blog with photos I've actually taken myself (!!!).
Anticipations: Meeting Austin-ites, seeing my best friend, being a temporary hipster, being a 21-year-old in a cool city, not saying y'all
Concerns: getting all of my liquids onto a carry-on and getting to the airport

Trip 2: Ecuador
I am spending my Maymester teaching Ecuadorian children English and hanging out with university students from the University of Ecuador. Listen, we get to go to hot springs. The people I'm going with seem really awesome, I'm taking a class with all of them now. Also, I get to network with a bunch of Higher Ed grads, which is a dream because I think that's the program I want to do eventually.
Anticipations: Practicing Spanish, teaching English, hot springs, potentially getting some Chilean pisco, Spanish poetry/music/lit, mountains, avocados (basically, I love South America and I'm so excited).
Concerns: Altitude sickness, motion sickness, and guinea pigs


Trip 3: Indonesia
My life is a dream. I was awarded a Critical Language Scholarship to study Bahasa Indonesia in Malang, Indonesia. What? Pinch me. Seriously. I know it is going to be an intensive language learning experience, but I know it will be life-changing. I'm so fortunate. I met a guy today who was awarded a CLS and he said his life hasn't been the same since. Can you believe I'll be living in a place called Java? Like the coffee?
Anticipations: Meeting the other scholars, the beach, volcano, mosques/architecture, FOOD, tea plantation, warm weather
Concerns: Jet lag, getting sick

Poetry Sunday: Annabel Lee

This poetry Sunday, I've got a wonderful poem that I fell in love with during my childhood obsession with the novel and film Holes by Louis Sachar. It's Edgar Allen Poe's Annabel Lee, and in the film two lovers bond over the poem, the school teacher and the onion salesman. They couldn't be together because of race, and his murder caused her to because a Wild West outlaw who kissed her deceased victims. Anyway, the poem is great.

It was many and many a year ago,

   In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

   By the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

   Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,

   In this kingdom by the sea,

But we loved with a love that was more than love—

   I and my Annabel Lee—

With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven

   Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,

   In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

   My beautiful Annabel Lee;

So that her highborn kinsmen came

   And bore her away from me,

To shut her up in a sepulchre

   In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,

   Went envying her and me—

Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,

   In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

   Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

   Of those who were older than we—

   Of many far wiser than we—

And neither the angels in Heaven above

   Nor the demons down under the sea

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams

   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes

   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

   Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,

   In her sepulchre there by the sea—

   In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Late Night Thoughts: Stream of Consciousness

I just came home from seeing Rocky Horror Picture Show. I fell asleep in the theater and drank Frostop root beer from tap (Yum). I originally spelled theater "theatre," I think because it was just that kind of place. It's 2:28 a.m. right now, and I can't remember the last time I saw this time of day because I'm an early bird. My "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster keeps falling and I think that's symbolic in someway, like maybe I shouldn't have spent the entire week coming straight back to my room any chance I had to watch The Office, even though I barely have any homework and it made me so happy. I want a love like Jim and Pam, just like everyone else in the world, but I definitely don't want to spend 12 years in an office, even if TV made it seem wonderful. I literally cried for the entire finale episode because it was all so beautiful. Anyway, I think I'm developing a cold, so it looks like I'll have to start finding some Netflix movies to watch if I get any sicker and need to rest. I played laser tag today and my player name was "Megatron," and I am awful at laser tag. I think this summer might make all of my dreams come true. Well, I don't actually think that, but I do think it will be life-changing in some way. I just sneezed. Here comes the sickness. I haven't been sick at all this year, which is incredible, because last year, I hardly remember any times when I didn't have an awful cold. I ran on Tuesday and it was horrible because I ate junk food all weekend, so I think I might try to run again tomorrow unless I develop that cold. I can't imagine why I'm getting a cold since I've had like a million tangerines over the past week, and that's a lot of vitamin C. Can you ever feel yourself getting more annoying the more tired you get? And you can't stop being annoying even though you're totally aware? That happened to me today. I washed my pillowcases today and my curtains are closed, so I'm in for a lovely slumber.

My relationship with yoga

As a kid, I did yoga from a VHS tape called E-I-E-I-Yoga that was a farm-themed yoga tape that my family friends had at their house. No, seriously. It exists. 

Anyway, although I've done yoga on-and-off my whole life, I started doing yoga more seriously about a year ago, when my mom started going to this hot yoga studio near her office. I went with her during my winter break, during a really sad time in my life, and it gave me a few hours in my week to focus on nothing. Yoga is amazing for the mind and the body.

I hated sports and exercise growing up, mostly because I have no natural talent and am a sore loser. However, yoga is perfect for me, because it is encouraging, there is no such thing as a mistake, and any practice makes some progress, even if one day I rest during a series of Vinyasas when I didn't the last time.

I have gotten worlds more flexible (I couldn't reach my toes before, and now I can put my hands on the floor!), and I feel healthier and more confident to try new things in terms of exercise, because I feel less discouraged. I've even ventured to take spinning and strength training classes, and you know what? They weren't that bad!

In any case, I went to Yoga class today, and the instructor played a song that I used to listen to in high school that always made me happy. It's called "La Mar" by The Beautiful Girls. Enjoy :)

Poetry Sunday: Nothing Gold Can Stay

Happy Sunday :) I'm going to share a poem that I love. I'm going to try to do it every Sunday.

This poem has been near and dear to my heart since I first read it in my favorite book, The Outsiders, in 6th grade. Enjoy!

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold,

 Her hardest hue to hold. 

 Her early leaf's a flower; 

 But only so an hour. 

 Then leaf subsides to leaf. 

 So Eden sank to grief, 

 So dawn goes down to day.

 Nothing gold can stay. 

-Robert Frost

Loneliness

Loneliness is something that I've had to deal with a lot in my life.
As an only child, loneliness is something with which I am very familiar. At times, loneliness is my dear friend. Today after dinner, for example, I came to my single dorm room and did homework and watched TV for hours, not coming into contact with anyone. It was just loneliness and I, getting reacquainted and spending time together. However, at times, loneliness can get too comfortable in life, not knowing when to leave, the unwelcome house guest that makes you miserable but you can't seem to persuade her to pack her bags.

I had to watch this video in RA training. It's an animated infographic that talks about loneliness for our generation in our society today because of technology and "social" media. It's super interesting.
"I share, therefore I am."

Wanderlust: Dream Destinations

I was raised by world travelers. My parents lived for travel, and they spent many of their younger years on the road and seeing all the world has to offer. In fact, they met while traveling in Tokyo, Japan. We traveled a lot when I was young, back and forth from Thailand and throughout Southeast Asia, Costa Rica and Nicaragua, and many places throughout my dearest USA. The world is my fascination, and even inspired me to study International Relations in college. Now that I'm on my own, I realize that it's my turn to go on my own adventures and see what the world has to offer. I've started off by studying abroad (and I've got another trip planned for the summer: see you soon, Ecuador!), but I know that there are so many more journeys in store.

As of now, here are five destinations that I'm dying to see!

Rio de Janeiro, Brasil
When I studied abroad in Chile, we went to the top of Cerro San Cristóbal in Santiago, where there is a huge statue of the Virgin Mary. Being on top of that hill and seeing all of Santiago, standing next to a massive white statue was one of the coolest moments of my life. It's really hard to explain, but it was amazing. Can you imagine how that might feel while standing next to Christ the Redeemer? I want to do that.


Istanbul, Turkey
A mix of East and West, in Istanbul, you can actually take a ferry across a sea and pass from Europe to Asia. Come on, now.


Spain
A country rich with history, culture, and geography, Spain is definitely a dream destination. I'd like to practice speaking Spanish in the motherland of the language, even though a lot of parts of the country have their own languages! Also, there seems to be a lot of castles, and why would I not want to visit castles?



Montreal, Canada
Montreal isn't that far from where I live compared to the other destinations, and it's like a mini Europe in my backyard. I've studied the Quebecois movement in some of my IR classes and it's fascinating that there are nationalist movements within a stable, non-threatening democratic government. Plus, I love Tim Horton's.


Santorini, Greece
I like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants as much as the next girl (probably more; I read the follow up book about when they were all 30-years old). As we know from those books and their movies, Santorini is a dream.

Valentine's Day: My Favorite Romance-Related Things

Love is in the air - it's Valentine's Day! Although I don't have a Valentine this year, I do enjoy a good dose of romance now and then. Here are my top three romantic things that get me sappy. In no particular order:

Pablo Neruda: Poema XIV
Pablo Neruda's poetry ranges from communist/nationalist to poems about nature and travel to my personal favorite topic of his, love. Pablo Neruda truly had a way with words. When I studied abroad in Chile, we visited all three of his houses that are now museums, and even took a class about his life and work. He meant so much not only to the country of Chile as a man working for social justice, but also to Latin American literature. They say Neruda only needed three things in life: Wine, women, and the sea. That itself is a rather romantic sentiment. I love all of the poems in his "20 poemas de amor y una canción desesperada," but Poema XIV is particularly lovely. The last verse says "Quiero hacer contigo lo que la primavera hace con los cerezos" : "I want to do with you what the spring does to the cherry trees." Super sappy and perfect for Valentine's Day. 

http://hellopoetry.com/poem/9920/every-day-you-play/ http://www.ciudadseva.com/textos/poesia/ha/neruda/20poemas/14.htm

Pablo Neruda's home and inspiration, Isla Negra

Before Sunrise
A gorgeous backdrop of Vienna, Austria. Young Ethan Hawke. Two hours of awkward dialogue between strangers. This movie could not be more perfect, unless you told me that every ten years, they make a new one, with the same couple meeting again 10 years older, which is TRUE. Listen, I simply can't describe to you how perfect this trilogy is and how much it makes my heart swell with romance film joy. Two strangers meet on a train, one goofy American 23-year-old guy and one pretty, feminist Parisian 23-year-old woman. He asks her to get off of the train with him in Vienna, just for the night before his plane leaves. The movie documents the special night they have together as strangers. Nothing about it seems overly romanticized, everything about it seems like it was captured organically between two attractive and confused young people who met on a train.

Something
Something by The Beatles is an amazing love song. I have this friend who says "I know objectively that the Beatles are the best band of all time, I just don't like them that much." I feel as if that sentiment applies to this song as well: You might not love it the way I do, but you can't deny that it's a great love song. It's a simple song with very few lyrics, but it's about an inexplicable attraction toward someone. "Something in the way she moves / attracts me like no other lover." Sometimes, the best feelings are the ones you can't explain, and the ones you don't even feel compelled to explain.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day :)

A Case of You

"You're in my blood like holy wine 
You taste so bitter and so sweet 
I could drink a case of you darling 
Still I'd be on my feet "

The first time I heard this song, I was at a strange Keller Williams concert in Kent with my parents and my friend Leanna. When I came across this cover of it, I fell in love with it again. 

Top Five

In high school, I had a short stint with tumblr. My best friend still tumbles regularly, and she is a tech girl, but I never kept up with it and I still don't quite understand how it works. However, when I did tumble (is this the correct verb?), I made top ten lists, and I still enjoy looking back to see what I was into at that strange time in my life. 

Here's what's been making my world go 'round this week:

Earl Grey Tea
College has made me a regular tea drinker. I have a cup of hot tea almost everyday, sometimes more. Lately, I've been reaching for the earl grey lavender that campus coffee shops carry. The coffee company on campus has recently released these gorgeous loose leaf tea satchels. The earl grey is particularly beautiful because mixed throughout the black tea are small purple flower petals that expand slightly in the hot water. I used to hate earl grey because of that odd fragrance from the bergamot, but now I find it rather comforting.


The Office
I started watching The Office over winter break and I am fully obsessed. Now I know why everyone loves it - it's SO FUNNY.

Texas
I bought a ticket to Texas for spring break! In the past, I've found that Southern hospitality doesn't hold a candle to the genuine friendliness of my dear home the Midwest, but I've never been to Texas and I'm looking forward to exploring Houston and Austin with my best friend Gabrielle. We'll be perusing South x Southwest, which is still a bit of a mystery to me. I love traveling, so it's bound to be a great experience.

Running
I've hated sports my entire life, and anyone who knows me well can attest to that. I'm bad at them. I don't care about winning. I don't like watching them. However, individual sports are not so bad a because I am not letting anyone down if (when) I lose. I made the  goal at the beginning of the year to run a 5k by the end of the school year, and I've been running on a treadmill to prepare for it. I know that it's not as hard as running outside, but I still have been seeing improvement from when I started, which is good for me. Yesterday, I ran twice as long as I ever had before! I ran a total of 2.7 miles, and even though it took me half an hour, I am so proud of myself for not stopping after my usual 15 minutes. 



Naked 2 Palette
We talked about gender norms in class today, and a lot of the women in the class agreed that we dress up and wear makeup because we like it, and that shouldn't make us any less feminist. I totally agree. Makeup for me is like painting. I finally bought the Naked palette, which I've been lusting after for years. It was expensive and frivolous, and I don't regret it a bit. My favorite colors are Bootycall (a peach-tinted white-beige with a frosted finish) and Tease (a dirty mauve-brown with a matte finish).

We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.

When I was a little girl, I told everyone that I was going to be an author. In my childhood bedroom, you'll find countless notebooks with frayed edges filled with mundane experiences I would have otherwise forgotten, secrets that I could only entrust to the page, drawings of characters that I built in my mind, stories of my own invention, terrible poetry. As an only child, I often only had myself and my imagination for days on end. I remember a moment in my adolescence, as a confused 12-year-old, when I felt particularly low - I crawled into my attic bedroom, a warm, comforting space, and began  to write a poem.

Then, I grew a little older. High school happened. I made memories with my best friends and fell in love for the first time. I realized that I had life ahead of me outside of the village where I grew up. I began to focus on school and work and success and all of the things that I thought happy people did, and I stopped writing for myself. I wrote beautiful analyses of classic novels and historical events, but my silly poetry and journal entries made an abrupt stop.

 (I also played cards a lot.)


Now, I'm a third-year student at Ohio State. When they said that college was going to be a time of personal growth, they weren't kidding. While the first time I fell in love was in high school, my first heartbreak was in college, and it was a doozy. I've traveled the world, made some impulsive decisions, learned to think critically, and realized nobody has to live life in that straight line we learn about growing up. I've written too many academic articles and next to no personal writing.

I don't want to regret not writing at all during this time in my life. Blogs are a great way to write and include other forms of visual media to tell the ultimate story. Although I love one-on-one time with pen and paper, I want to record events and interests and ideas because it is fun and ultimately, this life is about happiness.

Why the name "A Star to Sail Her By"? My favorite movie in the world is the 1971 film Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory. A little known fact is that much of the wisdom Willy Wonka imparts in the film is unoriginal, taken from poetry, often Shakespeare. Before he gets on the boat for the absolutely terrifying trip down the chocolate river, Wonka says "All I ask is a tall ship and a star to sail her by," taken from a beautiful poem called "Sea Fever" by John Masefield. Actually, the poem is sort of a pretentious cry for adventure on the open sea, and even says "vagrant gyspy life" at one point, but in the context of a wacky film adaptation of a dark-spirited children's book about candy, it really speaks to me.

I haven't written in a while. Bear with me.
Love, Marisa